Break-Up: Not your regular relationship advice right? Well, sorry ahead of time because we still need to talk about this. So listen.
One phrase that I have come across lately when I speak to some persons about the need to leave a relationship is “it’s not easy”.
Well, I also get this line, “I know I need to leave but I still love him or her deeply”.
So if you believe that leaving a toxic relationship or a relationship that is no longer working is hard you are not wrong for one reason. You are “in love”, that is, you are emotionally connected.
And should I be honest with you?
If it was easy then you never really loved them in the first place. Finding it hard to leave someone you love is normal, it’s a sign you truly love them and no matter what they do to you, you forgive, and although deep down you are tired of the relationship, it’s still normal to also believe things can change.
So I acknowledge your finding it hard but let me be real with you about break-up
There are behaviors that you can forgive but shouldn’t continue with. We have talked about red flags so it’s not a new subject. Those red flags are not what you want to keep experiencing in your relationship or marriage.
So wisdom requires you to know when to call it to quit no matter how much in love you think you are or what you stand to benefit if you stayed as long as it’s not right.
In life, there are two types of pain.
1. The pain of discipline.
2. The pain of regret.
Discipline is the ability to do something you know you should do whether you feel like doing it or not.
So it’s a sign of indiscipline to stay in a relationship you know you should leave.
Regret is a feeling of sadness, repentance, or disappointment over an occurrence or something that one has done or failed to do.
So if you fail to discipline yourself now and do the needful you will probably end up in regret in the nearest future.
The pain of discipline requires you to do the hard stuff now, yes it will be painful, you will feel heartbroken like your heart wants to jump out of your body, you will cry and wish to go back this is simply because you are still emotionally connected, you love them.
But hey don’t forget they abuse you, beat you up, they don’t pay attention to your needs, they constantly cheat on you, they make you feel you don’t matter, neglect you, and even stingy towards you, just to name a few. Break-up
You know this relationship does not represent the kind of marriage you want to have. You have tried so hard to fix it but the marriage of your dreams is not in alignment with your current relationship. So why remain where you are not needed nor celebrated.
Why do you want to experience the pain of regret that comes with greater pain than that of discipline?
A lot of young men and ladies regret their marriages today, painful enough, they saw the red flags they know it wasn’t right, they knew he/she might likely not change but because they deeply loved and found it hard to leave when they should, they went on to settle for less than they truly deserved. Today they wish they had left when they should.
As I said, this is not your regular relationship advice but I know a lot of persons dying in silence need to hear me say this.
You are busy fighting God unknowingly because you want to fix a relationship that He Himself broke to save you from future heartbreak or Break-up
Know when to stop fighting to fix a relationship that is not working so you won’t end up fighting God and frustrating yourself.
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Leave that relationship now. It will never be easy to leave. If you are waiting for it to get easy you will never move.
Ecclesiastes 11:4 says Farmers who wait for perfect weather never plant. If they watch every cloud, they never harvest.
If you keep waiting for the perfect time sorry to break your heart it will never come. The earlier you set yourself to free the earlier you begin your recovery.
You have to look into the future and find your assurance. If the reality you are facing is not in alignment with the future you see then change it.
Let he/she that has an ear hear this saying.Braek-up
It’s better to experience the pain of discipline now than to experience the unbearable pain of regret later.
You have fought a good fight for love, to repair what was broken but like you have seen it’s not working, now it’s time to start fixing yourself by finding the strength from this message to leave.
And yes, the first step to a godly marriage is to give your life to Christ and accept him as you lord and savior then every other thing follows.